Turn Toward Each Other

My dad used to always say to us, “ask not what your mom can do for you, but what you can do for her.” I would always roll my eyes at that because he said it so much.  I think of my dad as a wise master Yoda because he would have so many sayings that would make you think or put into perspective. I have learned to apply what I have learned in my life and use it in my marriage. Since that is ingrained in my brain, I try to look for ways to do things to help my wife. It doesn’t even have to be big things. Little things like putting away clean laundry, picking up a room, rubbing her back, or telling her how grateful I am for her, make a huge difference in a marriage. I’m not perfect about doing this all the time, but when I do, we grow closer together. It’s the same when she does things for me.

Another thing that shows your spouse how much you care is by not only acknowledging the things that they do, but the things that they say. If one of you is having a rough day or feeling off, let your partner know so they can help you get through it. I have learned to lean on my wife for love, support, advice, and basically everything in my life.  One of my wife’s best friends just had a break-up with her boyfriend. We went to lunch with her today and she talked about how he didn’t prioritize her or communicate with her very well and he didn’t even think there was a problem. They would only see each other for an hour or so a day in between work and homework. When they were together he would be on his phone and he wouldn’t even sit by her. It didn’t seem like a healthy relationship. As we were talking with her about it today, she realized that it wasn’t going to work in the long run. Not that she didn’t want it to, but because he wasn’t putting in the effort of being in a relationship. If he would’ve done those little things I talked about earlier, it would’ve made the world of a difference in how things went. We all deserve someone who is going to put us first, understand everything we are going through, and make time for us every day.

If you were ever in that situation in your own marriage/relationship, how would you convey how you feel without hurting the persons feelings and helping them make the necessary changes for a happy relationship?